Paper Girl Ink Page


Warn her about you.

Hold her like a regular old colonial building,

swept away (in) yesterday’s newspaper clippings

down the Kaveri.

 

We can boil a little book, sitting on top of Montréal,

and think of other brown girls who are secretly

pages waiting to be burned and blurred with holy water

until they make no sense anymore

warming the city skies with our bodies, tamtams,

warning each other with les bises and hushed words

and shared shade, secret shade.

 

Rewritten by local standards,

they were going to put French everywhere, and I would love the practice, like

I would take a lover like an assignment

as anything except a cheap substitute for emotional depth.

Bodies aren’t bridges.

Tongues aren’t exams.

 

i think your cum tastes less bitter when

modeling as a heart of a dual bidirectional thing, less bitter

when I come too – like a viole(n)t moon, a sun setting in the Arctic –

shaking, just watching it.

i ink through a canvas.

“Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it.”1

I think through paper

the ­­­shape of a flayed heart,

isolated in a small plastic container

at the Strathcona Building of Anatomy and Dentistry

that one there is mine.

 

Tea with rape culture means

not looking at (me) the same way

ever again at Starbucks.

 

 

thanks.

 

 

 

I’m not something super into fashion,

I’m not someone super into

the tensions we trust with,

snapped shoulders

snapped wrists

snapped fingers make holding(-)pens impossible.

 

And he visits again, the Algerian taxicab driver –

the bridge between white women’s experiences and my own

and he changes shoreline to tip

to communicate with the difference between being alone and being lonely  –

(Did you know, he asked me,

that they call Montréal-nord, Montréal-noir?)

 

some of us are just little spice packets

waiting to be cooked and consumed

by those interested in ethnic cuisine.

 

Seriously, it took the longest time, to navigate

negative connotations in an explanation

other than insanity because you’re ugly.

 

Neither will leave, under the same gaze of someone else in his locket –

 

Sew a book with me, ink me in today,

so you can drink me in later.

And I promise you, you will never be ever

able to taste anything

other than the toxic sludge of my body in print

I hope my aftertaste burns you from the inside out.

 

 

Was to have loved to be?

 

Was to have loved to be?

 

Does anyone remember the scene and my body just your size.

Or an island if her thighs are you were me.

A bathtub full of these

limbs.

 

 

 

Ok, hold her.

 

 

 

She was splintered wood and meaning the next time.

Not something beyond a sterilized definition in someone’s dictionary –

 

(I want me.

*shrug* I am Me, trying to have a space not where they came from,

ironically enough, the neo colonial/orientalist gaze.

 

“faut qu’tu parles, parles du colonialisme.”2)

 

Maybe things as always, I have been cut and sold every mo(u)rning.

 

She bitches about our frigid hearts

closer to each other’s languages in

victorian era times –

when I would have been her servant,

I want to tell her I cannot love like she does

 

 

 

and now I’ve moved back home in the middle of tattoos.

and now  I can be a brown woman jury-audience-speaker-lawyer,

and my chest, a court, legitimising the cold diamonds around my neck,

“I woke up, flawless.3

 

­­my tongue curved into stone and carbon frame,

a scythe into grass and I fashioned a white serrated dagger

to hold those weeks of summer suicide in a pocket of time,

locked away,

to hold that week of winter worth in every frosted word

that tastes like January.

 

a scythe like a blade between my teeth

waiting to cut something other than my smile.

 

this is a wholesale fucking resumé.

 

 

  1. Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell by Marty McConnell http://peelsofpoetry.tumblr.com/post/34524527364/frida-kahlo-to-marty-mcconnell-by-marty-mcconnell
  2. Occupation Double, Loco Locass
    http://www.parolesmania.com/paroles_loco_locass_58033/paroles_occupation_double_1484334.html
  3. Flawless, Beyoncé
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x18dx0p_beyonce-ft-chimamanda-ngozi-adiche-flawless-explicit-official-video_music

 

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