“Will you bring me back?
“State-of-the art models, built to stir
humans, and that had been their sole purpose
“Will I come back?”
“They have an eye for detail;
they are cheaper
to manufacture than LabTek Robots,
and the ones we are sending have already been made –
albeit for a different purpose – but they require only
and they are perfect for a preliminary
recon mission of this kind.
“No; this is a one-way trip, we –
look, we talked about this.”
“They consider the safety of…of clients…well,
in this case, obviously, the collective, of humans,
but basically of others’ needs over their own. Just
think: They’re made to be more intuitive,
more adaptable to new environments.
“It’s sacrificial. You are sacrificing us, for what?”
They are curious, adventurous
and can collect information pertaining
to their well being while exercising caution, discretion.
They are excellent communicators. If they
felt love, it would be for words.
And they are the only robots designed to be as
physiologically and emotionally…human
– well, as woman,” he said, apologetically, “- as possible
“We’re explorers, and always have been.
You love exploring!”
while still being robot enough to adjust
any physiological parameter as per needed –
and they can send that data back.”
complete with breasts and waists,
nasolacrimal ducts, and other
“Well, it’s how they’re designed to be, quite simply.
Look, this is a rehashing of history, and we’re not historians;
we’re scientists in a very competitive industry but
after Bill C-36 and its subsequent derivatives,
there has been a real – a real need, and push for such services
by woman-like robots and quite simply,
this seemed to be the most ethical alternative –
and it’s a wholly cost-effective, mutually beneficial, and coincidental
partnernship between our company and, well, NASA. Look, think
of it this way: one small step for GirlsXXX, one giant step for mankind!”
They wept when they left, real salt
tears which they had been programmed to produce,
held sometimes by very sad human men, scientists who
I think they also programmed laughter!
“No, no, they can’t actually feel.
But they simulate feeling well.”
They did, but after the tears –
shows you their priorities.
No one heard from the ship again; there was
no distress call, no location signal, no
communiqués about new discoveries
and most importantly:
no information feed regarding
capacity of Ganymede.
They called it The Vanishing.
“The distress call must have been faulty.”
“Their information feed was cut off prematurely.”
And the obvious, and most humorous conclusion of all,
transmitted through radio waves,
and heard at the other end of Jupiter,
over roars of laughter and, now
unearthly, cackles, the clinking
of champagne glasses, the swish of siren tails: