otherside


i am on the otherside of it all now none of the old songs creep up in my throat i haven’t listened to any in months and when i did tonight and felt nothing  if we met now we would have gone nowhere faster i would have ended it after that coffee i have met many yous since you you are not that unique or special in the mundane way that no one is unique or special and i see in each ‘connection’ the straining energy of nonsense so i am on the otherside of it all now the otherside of us is the knowledge that there was never anything worth investing in and usually there never is the otherside is knowing all poetry is bullshit and all poetry is manufactured and all feelings are farcical the otherside is knowing you’re over it in a different way an easier way and this is why justice is farcical too the otherside i know i did not feel safe with you i felt vulnerable i did not feel sure of you i felt excitement i was grateful to you instead of for you i was not interested in your life i was uninterested in my own you did not like me did not love me you were simply fascinated and in the time of our parents’ parents’ parents you and i would not even  have met and maybe that was a good thing keep to your own if you want to keep to your own on the otherside i understand your stupid selfishness as the distinguishing feature of all humans the otherside is many first dates some second dates another month of dating someone and a month passed by as a month should instead of like a year or a lifetime the otherside is me telling other men “meh yeah i don’t really see you in my life” because i don’t see anyone in my life the otherside is knowing you in my life months ago was a different you in a different girl’s voice this is the otherside of me too i shed that girl like a snake sheds its skin i shed her wounds and her sorrows and her love and on the otherside of that girl is me the witch the scorpion the snake under the dead skin and very much alive the snake knows where its skin ends and where the world begins the snake knows when its own skin ends and where she begins the snake knows how to protect herself and always will the snake chooses herself over anything and everything else the otherside is knowing we are in a world of snakes and scorpions and only snakes and scorpions survive.

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