70 Truths


 

  1. loving you was wrong
  2. i still love you
  3. no not in that way
  4. there is a wall between me and you
  5. there is a wall between me and everyone
  6. i don’t believe in love anymore
  7. what we did was wrong
  8. i feel disgusted when i think of us
  9. i feel grief when i think of us
  10. i feel there was no us
  11. you taught me my trust is precious by breaking it
  12. i feel nothing when i think of us
  13. you killed something in me
  14. i hope something died in you so that there is justice
  15. i hope only one of us was hurt for mercy
  16. there is no reason to write anymore
  17. i am so tired
  18. i can leave anything and anyone behind
  19. love is a choice  how disgusting
  20. love is a choice how mundane
  21. love is a choice how empowering
  22. man, fuck you
  23. i have never been more humiliated in my life
  24. you are not good for me
  25. i don’t know who you are
  26. you don’t know who i am
  27. we are  strangers
  28. after you, my words are gone – my writing is flat, cliche, not even cliche, not even interesting
  29. you killed so many things in me, i keep finding open graves inside me, stumbling into them in the middle of the afternoon
  30. my heart is a walnut for me for me for me for me for me for me for me just for me for me for me for me for me
  31. i am the only thing that matters in my life
  32. i don’t love you
  33. i never loved you
  34. maybe i never knew how to love
  35. women are not allowed to love need want
  36. i am selfish now
  37. i remember the taste of your finger in my mouth
  38. i remember everything
  39. i remember nothing
  40. i thought what we had was special
  41. i don’t anymore
  42. trust has eroded to nothing so that is probably a good thing why build anything new on stupid rotten wood stone dust broken trees and rotting murky swamp quicksand
  43. i can’t write anymore all my writing is trash now so thanks for that you piece of shit
  44. i am not responsible for you
  45. you are not responsible for me
  46. you are not responsible for my writing turning into so many bits of rat feces
  47. i bleached out the inside of my heart after you
  48. before you, i was pretty sure I could love, and now I have some serious doubts on that front
  49. i guess i know now why in some faiths, you fall to your knees and lift your hands up and open in prayer
  50. i don’t have faith in anything anymore except myself
  51. i believe in death.
  52. we are what we do
  53. i am not a fucking bird
  54. you are not a fucking tree
  55. you could drop dead tomorrow and i would not care
  56. i could drop dead today and you would not even know
  57. i think death is a measure of meaning-  like would you really care if anyone in your life died right now
  58. i wouldnt
  59. except for myself I guess
  60. i still cry sometimes but about what i don’t know
  61. life is such a punishment no wonder every major religion is over it. over this, over the living of it.
  62. i am responsible for myself
  63. and nothing else
  64. i have no strong feelings about anyone or anything
  65. i’m pretty sure i’m actually crazy
  66. i don’t love you, i want love to exist for you
  67. i lose interest in people quickly now
  68. i don’t give people second or third or fourth chances – did anyone give me those things?
  69. thanks for teaching me how to stop giving a fuck
  70. thanks for leaving
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